like, whoaa..
today marks the 1 yr mark since *somebody FIRST called me.
(:
har har, as if he knows.
omg, like im sucha loser.
haha.

i am proud to announce that...
i did my Amath, Chemistry and Biology revision for these past few days!
i am so PROUD of myself.
aaah.. (:

and and, my siblings and i, we made an agreement.
it was my brother's idea actually.
it's the United Biological Acadamic Performances (UBAP).
the policy is that, we can only use the computer for 45min a day, and if we happen to use more, here comes the best part, the other sibling gets to switch off the main switch to the computer!
yeah baby, DISCIPLINE!
and if we fail to reach our goals for a certain test, we'll have to pay a fiiiine.!
i'm SO up for it!
if it means doing better academically! (:

oh and im so happy.
im going out later with hayati, amelia and huda!
ok im charging my camera and ipod now..
i hope i wont be late later on...
-stresses-

heh k byee!
and to all Muslims, Selamat menyambut awal muharram. (:

Blogged @ 12:13:00 PM




it's funny how i can remember things that i DON'T have to remember and forget all that im supposed to.


i just recollected something i used to do when i was younger.
check this out




i used to test myself if i still know what is 2 + 2, which is equals to 4, whenever i hit my head against the well or whatever accidentally.

cos you know why?
my grandmother kept saying things like "you will damage your head and forget everything if u keep banging your head into something"
and i saw this malay drama long long time ago, it was about this woman with cancer or smth and she fainted while performing and her hair kept falling off. i was afraid i would become like her when i get older or something. that's how gullible young minds are. but think about it, how many of you do tests like thinking of 2 + 2 = 4, to ensure that you've not lost your minds and suffering from Alzheimer's disease YET. hahahah
get what im trying to say?
if you still dont geddit, im implying that i was such a dumb, but smart and gullible kid.
bwaahahaha.

well now ive grown older, and ive come to gain a useful knowledge that you can't get back the brain cells youve lost once uve lost it, resulting in Alzheimer's disease? i think. haha

you know, i wish i'm strong. i wish i'm good at remembering things. so that i can become a doctor and do good to all the sick people in the world. if i become a doctor one day, i can treat my parents, relatives, anyone i know, and cure them, with God's will. i want to see people happy and healthy. i want them to appreciate me.

BUT (gawsh, i hate this word)

i cant stand the sight of the human body.
i cant stand the sight of bloooood, including mine.
i can feel the pain in people undergoing surgery.
i am afraid of making a blunder.
i am afraid of death.

now because of these, i cant be a doctor.
i will pass out while operating a patient.
i will vomit at the sight of organs with tumour.
especially the bladder, pancreas, liver, mouth, and everything else.

-faints-

Blogged @ 7:43:00 PM




omgawwwdddd, what a weeeeeek!
after wednesday onwards, almost everything went DOWN.
it's like so many things reached my boiling point and i just HAD to break down.
sigh.
and ms tan said i'm underperforming.
i am gonna prove to her, as well as other teachers that..
i CAN do it.
i will buck up.
i WILL ok?
gahhh.
well, i want to anyways.

went to Singapore Poly ystd. t'was okayy..
went to Temasek Poly just now... t'was... -.-
heh.
had tuition too just now.

gawsh, im so EXHAUSTED.
i cant say 'TGIF!' on Fridays now because i know it's not THE END anymore.
i cant say i cant wait for SUNDAY either because i have darned religious class, which is SO FREAKIN BORING.

i think im turning crazy.
because i can stare at smth for a long time, start crying and continue staring.
not in public laa..

I HATE SUNDAYS LA.
GAHH.
I WANNA QUIT MADHRASAH, AND THAT'S FINAL.

you know, it's so sickening how u get motivated but not do anything about it.
gah.

Blogged @ 10:38:00 PM




i dreamt that *something happened.
i was so happy it did, but i thought it was only a dream.
my heart did not feel right during lessons.
i couldnt focus much, yet again.
i kept having this weird feeling i had 2 weeks ago when my instincts came true.
i tried to shrug it off but i couldnt.
that was really stressful because i got an adrenaline rush, my hair stood, my hands were cold, i perspired, my pupils dilated? ahhaha.
then suddenly, that dream came true.
and so my instincts striked! (:
my heart went bang bang boom.
it was much better than my dream because there was no fat guy.
i dont even know who he is, in that particular dream
lmao.

right now, i feel that something is going to happen, but i cant tell what.
ive a feeling it's gonna be bad.
i hope it's not true.

i still feel guilty about what i did last night.
that attitude i gave was so not right.
i retorted at my dad.
first time.
that loud.
oh God, please forgive me.
i feel so sinful la.
i havent done a wonderful job as a filial daughter.
i dunno what to do to show how sorry i am.
sigh.

history test was supposed to be doable, but i kinda screwed it.
i studied things that didnt come out.
complacency.
ugh.

gawsh, i am so tired.......





of smiling. (:

Blogged @ 6:19:00 PM




i am EXTREMELY lethargic.
i can't sleep now because it aint a proper time.
i dont have any hw today (i think), but i desperately need to get down on serious revision.

i woke up at 2.30am this morning, as if knowingly, something has happened.
the lights outside were on, and i could hear my mom talking on the phone.
my heart couldnt bear it anymore, so i went out to find that my mom was in her baju kurung.
at that very moment, i knew what had happened.
my grandaunt has passed away.
she was sucha nice person.
guilt-stricken for not even visiting her while she was ill, i said my prayers for her and contributed a sum of money for my mom to pass to her family.
at about 3, my mom and grandmother left the house to go to the deceased's house. my dad had gone to work, so it was just me and my siblings.
i couldnt take it, i was alone.
my siblings were soundly asleeeep.
there i was, shiverish and nauseous.
the feelings i get upon hearing someone's death.
i thought there's no point in staring at blank space in the weeee hours of the morning.
so i took my wudhuk and recited to Yaasin.
after i was done, i did my amath, emath and bio revision.
i fell asleep with the lights on and woke up to find that my mom was cooking breakfast.
i was soooo tired, i slept back till 6.21a.m.
as usual, i was late meeting hayati.. siiigh. gotta start stressing on punctuality!

couldnt concentrate much in school.
my mind didnt concentrate well during Amath lesson that i agreed blindly to what Ms Tan was saying. so paiseh.
had 2 free periods, because mr naufal was absent.

oh thanks Ashyura for those lovely lovely candles!!
and thanks Sarah's and Ridhwan's mom for the chocolates!
hahaha.

i feel depressed lah.
i cant tell why, really.
maybe it's because of uhm, SOMETHING.
i dunno.
perhaps.........

Blogged @ 7:08:00 PM




:'(
a new rule was imposed by my beloved auntie.
TO WEAR LONG SLEEVED SHIRTS WHEN GOING OUT.
what'll happen to my PRECIOUS PRECIOUS tshirts?!
jackets make me feel so HOT la.
and she asked me to donate my skirt to the earthquake victims!?
how can i have the heart to do so when it's not everyday i got a skirt without having to pay it by myself!
here is the punishment if we choose to not break the rule.
WEAR BAJU KURUNG AND SCARF INSTEAD.
you should see how low my jaw dropped when i heard that.
what's wrong with wearing tshirts?!
at least i dont walk around naked like that man who lives in woodlands who was gonna be charged for public displays of nudity at his OWN house la. i mean, it's up to him to do that since it's in his own house what. he doesnt have anymore moral values to be taken care of and no shame for his own territories. neighbours dont like it? dont look la. close your windows, put curtains, WHATEVER.
my mom has been asking me to do the same too.
why are they forbidding tshirts and not-so-short skirts!?
gahhh.

so pissed off la.

and there's gonna be madhrasah later.
i dont wanna go la.
because it's in the afternoon and that is not very convenient for me.
why cant they have it in the morning instead?!
then it'll be easily over and done with.
i am SO quitting during JUNE.
my mom has already agreed so i shall anticipate the time...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
MY HEART ACHES LA.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO.
IT'S NOT AS IF I DUNNO WHAT TO DO.
AND WHATEVER HAPPENS TO THE WILLINGNESS OF THE HEART?!
IF WE'RE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING WE DON'T WANNA DO, WHAT'S THE POINT BECAUSE IT WONT BE RIGHT. WHY DO SOMETHING UNWILLINGLY!? MIGHT AS WELL DONT DO IT RIGHT?!
F IT LA.
BYE.

Blogged @ 12:19:00 PM




ahh i LOVE Thursdays.
it makes me feel greaaaat.
i get to wake up at 7.30am instead of 6.00am.
i get to anticipate early dismissal the next day.
ALMOST everything about it is great.
i dont like PE because of --fill in the blank--.

it's been raining so much lately.
must have been the monsoon season.
people are falling ill as well, i just hope im not one of them.

i think i will have to be mentally prepared to go for the 'Special Force' programme.
haha
if im not mistaken, i might have ABOUT 7 mistakes for my Bio Label Test alredyy..
sigh.
i just hope the Special Force will help me do better.
heh.

sigh.
i feel like 'ive got nothing better to do' so here are some pictures to reminisce. (:

starting with the oldest picture.. haha


at the waterfalls in uhm 2003?


at Causweway Point. (look at my horendous looking hair!!)


2 groups merged together as a CLASS. a TEAM. (:


this is so Sec2 please.


hari raya-ing at the hospital when my late grandfather was hospitalised. 2004 maybe?


my haiiiir. hahaha


they used to be so small but now, they still are.. bwahahah


the cikgu ariff seminar day! ahaha


my so temporary dyed hair. lmao


the fun fund walk!! (:


towards the end of last yr. dumb photos. lmao

last but not least....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST COUSIN, NASUHA DARKE!
YOU ARE THE BESTESTEST PERSON ALIVE THAT I KNOW OF!
HAVE A LOVELY SWEET SIXTEEN.
HMM I WONDER WHAT 'PRIYANKA' GOT YOU! (:(:
I KNOW YOU DONT EXPECT IT TO BE GOOD.
HAHAH

WISH YA ALL THE BEST AND LOVE YA!


Blogged @ 3:25:00 PM




eff it laaa.
you are taking advantage of my kindness
i'm not gonna do ur effing math hw for you la OK.
just because u dont have a math textbook.
dont give lame excuses like the school took it away
because i know noone in singapore is too poor to afford a math textbook.
gawsh.
you should have bought it ages ago
and if you really cant afford it, how come you cant make use of 365 days to save money
you are taking your o levels this year yet you dont have a f-ing textbook.
pleaaaaase la.

argh just when i wanna blog pleasant stuff.
you had to sms me to do your math hw for you.
how do u think i am?
your slave?
just because i asked u for a freakin pad doesnt mean i will repay you by doing your hw for you.
i can return u another pad or two if you want.
gahh.

so anyways, sleptover at Chepstow Close on Saturday..
we cleaned the library for free and ate garlic and kaya bread. haha.
then we supposedly studied for chem, because i thought my chem test would be on wednesday.
turned out that this wed is my bio label test. sigh.
oh and we tried waxing our legs.
but it didnt work so well because either we were inexperienced or it was a lousy quality wax strip. hahah
oh and nasuha and me bathed together after SO MANY YEARS of not doing so. it was hilarious. our bathing sessions used to be so orderly, but now we both wanna hog the shower. ahhaahah.
later at night we went to Plantation Ave. for dinner and also in conjuction of Yani's birthday.
did more chemistry. /: like geez, what a nerd, huh? haha

i treated nasuha and afifah to Starbucks on Sunday because it was my birthday last week and it's gonna be nasuha's birthday in 2 days from now. hahaha. i adore oreo cheescake. yumm.

yesterday was fun, but saddening at the same time.
school was kind of a rush because i tried to do so many things during a free period [mr ramesh was absent! (: ]. in the end i managed to do part of the library posters with munyra's help. phewh, thanks alot! haha. completed the poster after school and went home with hayati. it was pouring so hayati and me shared an umbrella. we laughed so much, but a tragedy striked hayati when she reached home i think. her mom had to undergo an operation on hari raya's eve. :( after i rested for awhile and helped with my grandmother's curtains, went to Khatib because i was craving for Oreo Crush. heh. and then nas, fifa and me ate at New York's Pizza. veli bad serbice worr... (uh.. right. *rolls eyes*) nasuha wanted a haircut so i spared her with a buck. haha. went to MacD's and bumped into *somebody's brother. HEH. so embarrassing, thats why i ditched nasuha because she was like "where is he?" when he was standing right beside her. im sorry he looked like a geeky nerd nasuha. hahahahhah.

reached home and ameera and aneesa reached my house moments later. helped to prepare food for everyone and we all had a feast! haha. took alot of WEEDEOS. i LOWE them all. i uploaded one. -->
the nice ones are too big to be uploaded. heh.
at about 10, everyone left and i felt so sad.
because i wont see nasuha again until she's finished her O's. SO SAD. :(
oh oh! ameera gave nas and me similar necklaces for our birthdays!
it is NICE and i LOVE it!
(:
oh and got a pink Roxy waterbottle from Royston.
it is NICE as well and i LOVE it too. haha

watched a touching Malay movie just now.
moved me to tears mannn...
haha

gawsh im addicted to nuts now.
especially Cashews and Almonds.
hheheehe

watched Tangkai Jaring too.
helluva funneh mowie!


ok enough of unnecessary infos.
here are some pictures to enjoy?
haha





everyone was ngaji-ing...

while nas and me were...

tsktsk.. lol


self obsessed. lmao.


cik cham and awe in the kitchen, having an adult talk? hah.


this girl was caught snooping around by me. bwahahah.

that's all folks!
tomorrow is another boring school day.
daaaamn.
but hmm mt is first two periods.
thats alright.
weehee.
ok BYE!
and Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all Muslims out there! (:

Blogged @ 5:05:00 PM




aaargh.
can anyone give me tips on how to keep my eyes open?
i WANT to sleep, but i CANT because i NEED to study.
i WANT to study but i CANT because i NEED to sleep.
geddit?

does coffee really help?
because i usually fall asleep after drinking it at night, if im THAT tired that is.
i turned myself upside down like what mrs zahri advised a few years back, but i still feel sleepy.
i dont wanna sleep now and wake up later.
it might make the situation worst.
gahh.

discipline discipline...
ive used the computer for 31minutes already.
i shall stop now.
goodbye.

Blogged @ 7:55:00 PM




DAMMIT!
I SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED MY INSTINCTS!
I SHOULD HAVE!!!
NOW I FEEL LIKE WAILING ALREADY LA!

NO WONDER I WAS HAVING THAT PARTICULAR FEELING DURING LAST PERIOD JUST NOW!
NO WONDER!!

WHEN I FOUND MY INSTINCTS CAME TRUE I WAS LIKE "WTH!".
i was praying hard noone would tell me about IT.
but my brother had to tell me.
i swore my heart stopped beating for a second.
i am so disappointed in myself.
mr naufal went on about BELIEVING in yourself yesterday.
i should have believed in myself.
i see why i should now already.
because noone else knows me better than I do right??

AH SHIT, I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN SCHOOL!
IT SHOULD HAVE RAINED MORE HEAVILY, THAT'D BE A GOOD EXCUSE.
but im not blaming God of course.
siiiigh.

just as i vowed not to use the computer, unless NECESSARY, i blew it!
i was putting my heart and soul in my AMATH hw la, and more than half done and it's 5.24 in the afternoon. like hello? FIRST TIME LA DEYY.. hah.

SO FREAKIN' PISSED.
I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO SCHOOL FOR THIS, AND *IT HAPPENED BEFORE I GOT THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE IT. not literally of cos.

bahhhh.
this entry is not meant to be understood.
i just want everyone to know that it's not my fault im blogging now.
cikgu cheah's long lecture made me realise the importance of studying EVERY single day, and you know what, i CAN DO IT! im gonna study FOUR HOURS a day, if there's little hw. AT LEAST 2 HRS, AND THAT'S FINAL.


i'm OUT LA.
*fumes*

Blogged @ 5:20:00 PM




phew!
first day of school...
hmm...
i smiled ALOT.
thanks for the well wishes from whoever's wished me, and to AMELIA and HUDA for having wished in ADVANCED. hahahah. see, told ya ill give u the credits!
royston practically forgot LOR, how could he!
and he even remembered me giving him a PAIR of dogs for his birthday. LMAO.
ok nvm, you wont get this.

school starts at 8.30 on Thursdays. hmmm GOOD. (:
ive been appointed class chairperson, just a swap with SHIRLEY la actually.
hahahah, thanks ALOT. *rolls eyes*
ahhahah, but from the bottom of my heart, i thank Shirley for suggesting that the Security person to take the class key for the class, to save the trouble for me. HEHE.
Practically ALL the teachers who came in talked about the importance of O levels. my eyelids were damn heavy to remain open but i tolerated the silent torture. hah.
oh oh! omg! i am SO SO THANKFUL TO GOD THAAAAT....

MR LIM YS IS NOT MY PHYSICS TEACHER!
MR TANG IS!
YAY YAY YAY!
even though he recognises me as AMELIA'S FRIEND, at least he remembered! HAHA!
*wipes sweat*
hurhur

Bio class.. hmmm, it was boring not because of Mr Naufal la, REALLY!
he was doing his best to get out response but the class responded very poorly, including me, i admit.
HOWW?!

Chem was the same old same old.
same teacher. same boring old topic that i can do ok. heh.
so ill take note that TUESDAYS will be a SCIENCE dayy...
whoa.

i got high with hayati after school after amelia went for dance and huda went for npcc.
hahah.
saw the op dance.
it seems do-able??
heh.
oh and amelia, GO AND EAT LAA!
dont fall ill!
haha

and thanks for the giftss!!

from MUNYRA&AZAHAR:


from HAYATI:


from CHERYL:


from RIDHWAN:


from HAFIZAH:


THANKS ALOT U GUYS!
MWAH MWAH!

ok here are some pictures on the first day of school. heh
enjoyy~! though they arent very exciting and interesting, whatsoever.
heh.


junmei was FORCED to take a picture.heheheh


we were BORED. explains?


hayati was famished? haha. exaggerating!


FATS! TSKTSK!


ohh yeaaa. cant wait for Hari Raya Haji.
HAHA!

i feel HAPPY today!
thanks everyone for making me have a pleasant day.
hahah!
byebye!
and have a good evening! (:

Blogged @ 8:07:00 PM




weee~!
right now, im gonna make a list of ThankYou-s. HEHE.

In chronological order of who wished me first (as of 12midnight 2nd Jan...)
1. NASUHA!
2. my SISTER, AISYAH.
3. HAYATI!
4. RIDHWAN!
5. Azry
6. CHERYL!
7. MUNYRA!
8. JUNMEI!
9. my MOM.
10. AWE (my aunt)
11. my GRANDMOTHER
12. MACDONALDS (haha!)
13. my DAD!
14. my BROTHER, MUZAKKIR!
15. Erwin!
16. ok and THEN i checked my blog and received tags from.. SAFA!
17. cheryl AGAIN. haha
18. Azmyra!
19. Lokman
20. CIK CAH!
21. SHIRLEY!
22. ATIQAH!!
23. Yisiang!
24. AMEERA!
25. Rashid!
26. KAKAK SITI!
27. AFIFAH!
28. HUDA!
29. Shafiqah!
30. AMELIA!

okayy i THINK that's it. im TRULY DEEPLY SORRY if i missed out anyone, did i?
another list of thanks is for the GIFTS! (:

from..my beloved FATHER:

an iPod Nano (wayyy advanced present la. lol)

from my DEAREST MOTHER:

New Balance shoes.

from my GRANDMOTHER, whom i LOVE:


a cropped jacket and 50bucks.

from my BROTHER:
20bucks! (previous pic)

from my SISTER:

EARRINGS, which she claimed that theyre expensive. HAH!

from NASUHA!:
the ZA EYESHADOW + FACIAL CLEANSER (look previous posts)
and
HANDMADE FE-MAD MAGAZINE!




from AFIFAH!:

LEERYAN POSTER (haha!)
and

A BAG!

from KAKAK SITI and AWE:

a necklace.

from CIKCAH, MY BELOVED AUNTY:

ANNA SUI'S SECRET WISH!!!!

errr yeah that's it.
THANKS ALOT EVERYONE.
I LOVE YOU.
SO SO MUCH.
MAY GOD BLESS Y'ALL.
(:


oh and im about to complete a birthday gift given my nasuha a million years ago when we were 12 or smth.

a cross-stitch pencil case!
im nearly done and im gonna use it for school reopen!
hahaha.

so now you know, it'll take me a million years to complete a cross-stitching something.
hurhur.

so there, everyone, have a blessed new year ok?
school's reopening tomorrow.
hmmm..
ive finally completed what im supposed to complete!
excluding emath GRAPH QUESTIONS.
have i mentioned this to anyone before?
I HATE GRAPHS.
ugh.

i spent 2 hours last night PACKAGING gifts for the birthday people(safa and cheryl) and, uhm other stuff la. oh SHIT, i just rmbred! have to burn salwa's cd. siigh.

ok aint gonna waste anymore time, wanna have an early night? maybe. heh.

L.O.V.E.
madhiah

Blogged @ 9:03:00 PM




HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I WISH EVERYONE THE BEST IN EVERYTHING.

my new year's resolution?
it's for me to know. hehe

love,
madhiah

Blogged @ 5:39:00 PM